I've just finished re-reading Toni Morrison's provocative novel, Jazz.  About half way through, two of the female protagonists are in conversation.  Alice says to Violet, "Nobody's asking you to take it.  I'm saying make it, make it."
 
The difference between taking it and making it is a keystone to the kind of self-management that provides a solid foundation for great leadership.  If your attention is focused on taking whatever comes at you in passive ways that lead to resentment and anger within and withdrawal or resistance in your relationships with others, then you have chosen to allow the situations in which you find yourselves to go from bad to worse.  There is an alternative.
 
You can choose to make things better. There are all sorts of ways to change how you show up in these situations.  You can choose to take some reflective moments and decide what you really want to make of the situation.  What values and achievements do you want to live out and contribute to make the situation better?  What conversations - calm, curious, and appreciative - can you initiate to change the tone and dynamic?  How can you use your voice to make the relationships more respectful, productive, and enjoyable?
 
Your positive influence as a leader comes first and foremost through the ways you use your voice in conversation.  Your voice models what you want to achieve, inspires the recognition of a shared vision, challenges the toxic attitudes and behaviours poisoning the situation, enables others to choose to think and act differently, and encourages the hearts of your colleagues.  That's real leadership.
 
So, are you simply going to take it, or will you choose to make it?

Cheers,