I've been playing around with the idea of considerate conversations for a couple of years now, ever since I first used the phrase in a leadership breakfast at the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority.  Several years ago, friend and colleague Marty Shoemaker helped me see the dual meaning of considerate - caring and thoughtful.  Leadership, to be deeply influential, must be both.
 
Here's the ideal flow of a considerate conversation as I currently understand it:
 
Care >> Think >> Convene >> Question >> Listen >> Contribute >> Conclude
 
Care about yourself, the other person, the issue, and the positive consequences.  If you can't connect with a loving attitude towards all of these dimensions of your relationships at work, don't proceed with the conversation yet.
 
Think about the positive outcome you want to achieve through the conversation.  If you don't have a clear vision of the benefits you want to achieve for yourself, the other person, and the organization, don't proceed with the conversation yet.
 
Convene the right people with the right ideas to explore the options to do the right things.  If you don't have a positive reason for extending the invitation to the conversation, don't proceed with it yet.
 
Question those convened to ascertain their desires and views, inviting them through your curiosity into a conversation about what matters most to them and their contribution to the organization. 
 
Listen to what they have to say, whether you like it immediately or not.  Give them time to express and explain their views, asking further questions for clarification as the conversation flows forward. 
 
Contribute your own views, not in a contentious manner, but in a spirit of enriching the options that are being considered and the decisions that will be made eventually.
 
Conclude the conversation with a decision.  It may be that you will continue the conversation to consider things more deeply.  It may be that you can arrive at a decision that is mutually agreeable and ready to be acted upon.  But be clear with all involved what the next steps are and how mutual accountability will be monitored.
 
If leadership was more consistently exercised through such considerate conversations, there would be a lot more genuine collaboration and beneficial results in organizations.
 
Please, test this flow out in your leadership conversations and let me know how it goes.
 
Cheers,